Saturday, April 5, 2008

The Amateur Tastebud: Food Reviews by A Culinary Non-expert

Most culinary reviews come from either a well-known journalist, a tv personality, an elite or upperclass figure, or a cooking expert or chef. Such reviews, most of the time, feature either the exquisiteness, or exoticness (if such both words exist) of the ingredients and the dish itself , the grandeur of the restaurant, the chef's competence and the owner's success, aside from many other things.

However I, a total non-expert (probably even dummy) in the field of culinary arts - one who has not even worn a chef's hat, who cannot even remember local fish names, and who totally freaks at being within 1 feet of a lengua (an exotic local cow tongue dish) - dare take this challenge of posting my takes on some of the most (and least) delightful food in Davao City (and, given the chance, other places as well).

I will be rating the subject (i may be confusing this with a laboratory dish!) food on the following, well, i'd like to call it scores:

Need to Go Home (5/5: So good that I ate waaay too much and needed to unload!)
Return Act Awardee (4/5: I'm definitely eating this again!)
TGIH (2-3/5: Thank God I'm Hungry, or I would have noticed I can cook better!)
Swallowable (1/5: like when all the ice cubes in your iced-tea has melted. You drink it but you don't love or hate it)
Puke-able (0/5: like when you're drinking and something hilarious/bad happens, you spit the water out of your mouth.)

Important: Do not mistake TGIH as an implication of me being bad at cooking. I have a few specialties, and am actually good, I just have not fully developed my potential as the next Wolfgang Puck.

That's not quite a clever scoring criteria, I know. But it's exactly why this may just be the perfect review, not for the culinary genius, but for the everyday consumer - he who eats just because. After all, food is not over-analyzed - actually even expelled through that found within the same word - It is enjoyed.

I've always wanted to say this anyway, Bon Apetit!


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